I recently finished working two and a half weeks for the Duke Youth Academy. I'm sure most people got tired of hearing me say DYA is my favorite thing, since I said it every day several times a day. I thought I'd try to explain why it was my favorite in more detail, since several people asked and I wasn't able to give anyone the whole story. I’ve detailed more specifically the things I’ve gotten out of DYA when I was younger in other blog posts, but basically what I got out of attending as a student was that when I was in high school, after 3 years of dealing with crippling major depression, having no friends and being made fun of or ignored by my peers in school and church, for two weeks at DYA I started to feel alive again, and my suicidal thoughts started fading. I met people who liked me and were nice to me and could feel God in my life again. My life was forever changed by the people I met and what I experienced. I made friends I still keep up with today who have helped me in many various circumstances and have generally been a joy to know. Because of DYA I worked at Camp Chestnut Ridge for 2 summers and met many more lovely people who have been wonderful in my life. Going to the DYA reunions I met more DYA-ers from other years who were just as great as the people my year, but were older and had more life experience, which was and is great. Prior to DYA going to Divinity school had never registered as a possibility for my future, but I considered it a strong option after DYA. Various other things in my life came together that finally made me decide to go to Divinity school (details of that are actually in my previous blog post). I'm thinking I'll most likely be a professor rather than a pastor, but we'll see. After this year's DYA my fellow staff members talked to me about taking some time off between college and Divinity school, which I will probably do, though I'm not sure what I'll do in that in between time yet.
I feel so blessed to have been able to work for DYA this year as an RA. When I attended DYA I was sure my RA’s hated me and my roommate because we were always talking past lights out, and we were slow in the morning. We got yelled at a lot. I made it a goal not to yell at the students….which only lasted a few days. I wasn’t yelling from a place of anger, I just preferred yelling to softly saying the same thing at each door. And it seems more effective at hurrying people along to where they need to be. So it’s possible the students thought I didn’t like them, but I really loved all of them, and now I’m sure my RA’s loved me as well. I didn't get to interact with the students as much as I would have liked to, but I got to do the everyday tasks that make it possible for them to experience DYA like I did, which made me so happy. And the times I did get to interact with the kids were great. They were such an awesome group of young people.
My second day of staff training I wrote in my journal "Brian, Kep, Allison and King James are really great. I think we're going to make a great RA Team." And we totally were! I have slight PTSD around church people because of bad experiences with my church growing up, and DYA and Camp Chestnut Ridge are the only places where I can really relax in worship. I still don't feel comfortable praying out loud even at DYA though, which I told my RA group. James asked me if I would like to pray about every other day and I replied "no thank you." At our last RA morning meeting though, I did pray out loud, because of all the love and support the other RA's showed me all throughout the 2 weeks. I loved working with everyone at DYA, and appreciated the times the mentors and other people helped the RA's out. People supporting me the day my parents moved from my beautiful childhood home was a blessing as well. I’m also thankful for James and Paul helping me pack my car after DYA in the ridiculous heat. And Martine and Heidi’s sweet notes in my mailbox. And Martine, Allison, and Ronya-Lee dancing. And everyone who played music and sang and painted. For Russ, Lindsey, Kep, James, and Andrew making me laugh, Hannah’s smile, Laura and I laughing in church. For Peter and Alaina listening to me. And for Kep teaching me to throw a pot, and for Katherine letting us use her wheel. And Matthew and Paul helping me with my continued fear of church. And the people from past years that have helped support me getting on antidepressants and continuing to deal with my mental health problems. And inside jokes: channel 2 on the walkie, “Thank you SO MUCH!” “Thesis #4 YOU ARE A SINNER!” “I fail to knit together how YOUR house burning down is MY problem”. In the Lord I’ll be ever thankful. The really great thing about DYA for me is that the community doesn't end when we leave one another. If any DYA students are reading this, DYA doesn't have to end. You can always be super crazy like me and go to all the reunions and then work for DYA someday (I highly recommend this).
I laughed so much at DYA, and I love laughing. I got so many hugs at DYA and I love hugs. I learned new things about God, which I love, and met new people who showed me God's love, which I also love. Even if I didn’t mention your name above, every single staff member has a special place in my heart, because you made me feel loved and accepted, and many of the students showed God’s love to me in different ways every day. I learned some new ways to pray, got to do morning prayer in Duke Chapel (which didn't happen when I was a student), got to play card games and show people my pet fish Gill. For me, life doesn't get much better than that.
