DYA Again

I've written about the Duke Youth Academy for Christian Formation before, but I worked for DYA again this year, and wanted to reflect on it again. 

My depression and anxiety are somewhat like channels on a radio that have been playing in my head for the past 8 years, sometimes both at once, sometimes one or the other. Since getting on Prozac about a year and a half ago, depression plays much softer and in the background, though sometimes it still becomes so loud it overwhelms everything else. In my journal during DYA I wrote "DYA is the only place where the radio stops for periods of time. I don't forget what the songs sound like, but I can look forward to an eternity without hearing them." 

DYA isn't only great because I don't feel mentally ill, but also because I do feel deeply well. The community and fellowship DYA creates is perhaps my favorite thing about it. I have mild PTSD from church growing up, and it's really difficult for me to connect to formal congregations even if the people are nice individually. The people at DYA aren’t perfect, but they have a strong desire to know God and love one another more deeply. Hearing from Duke Divinity School professors, mentors, staff, and other students discuss what they’ve learned about God and where they have experienced God is always beautiful. Even when we’re not directly discussing God, conversations feel deeply satisfying, whether we’re laughing about something stupid, or talking about problems back at home. People care about each other because they believe God cares about each other and this creates a beautiful community. It's one of the only places I can believe people care about me. Worship and morning prayer reflects the beliefs we discuss during the day, which makes it a deeply powerful experience. Communion reminds us of God’s sacrifice and love. Art and prayer practices allow us to experience creativity and reflect on our creative God. 

The other day online I read that Yugen is a Japanese word that means “an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and powerful for words”. I am not sure if that definition is accurate or not, but it instantly brought to mind DYA. Through DYA our community focuses on trying to understand and worship the creative loving God who made the universe and saved us through the person of Christ. And for me that creates a deep emotional response too powerful for words. 

I wrote the following poem because sometimes when I struggle with prose words, I find poetry expresses my sentiments better, if still incompletely. This is only my second draft of it. I usually revise poems many times before sharing, but I want to share it now anyway.

DYA

Where the Restless find Rest,
the Hopeless find Hope,

the Cutters find Healing,

the Homeless a Home.

Where people are loved

no matter what perceived gender

or sex

they love

or don’t love.

Where arguments happen,

people apologize, are forgiven,

and reconciled.

Where broken people are

made whole through the broken body of God.

The God of those who hear God often,

and those who never do.

The God of the Israelites,

the Saints, the Sinners,

those rejoicing, and those screaming to God

“Why?”

The God of those we love and those we hate,

the straights, the queers, the liberals, conservatives, artists, foreigners,

Catholics, Methodists, Baptists, Non-denomination, and non-Christian.

The God of the Big Bang,

of fire, ice, DNA, evolution,

and the water cycle

leaves fingerprints

all over creation

to cry out

“You are Mine. And I love you.”