For some reason I'm just in an angry mood and want to vent about things that well meaning people have said to me that really tick me off.
1. Oh yea, I know what it's like to be depressed. I failed a test once and was really depressed for like two days.
2. Anything suggesting that if I had a better relationship with God, prayed more, read the Bible more, etc, then I wouldn't be depressed.
3. My life/starving children in africa's lives are much worse than yours are, so what do you have to be depressed about?
4. I know you've struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for years, but EVERYONE feels like that, and you just have to get over it.
Again, all things that have been said to me, most multiple times over many years. Usually from adults, so I've never felt comfortable contradicting them. Also, I have problems with asserting myself anyway. But hearing those things is so freaking annoying. and unhelpful.
Just so this isn't entirely a complaint, here are some of my favorite things people have said to me when I've been depressed.
1. I love you.
2. It's not your fault.
3. Any sort of joke or funny story.
4. You're awesome.
Those simple things can be very comforting when I'm suffering. I hate people trying to fix me or assuming they can help because they've been "depressed" before. Having depression and being depressed aren't the same thing. Clinical depression, I feel, should have a different name, because it's such a serious mental illness, and people think it's the same thing as being depressed because something bad happened. I'm not trying to minimize people who have bad things happen to them and are sad or depressed, just trying to say there is a difference between clinical depression and being depressed. On the other hand, I love hearing from people who do suffer from clinical depression, because they usually know the right things to say, or at least less damaging things. Also, it's just nice to not be alone. /rant
Also, I bought a fish. He's beautiful.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Good news & not so good news
Well the good news is that I haven't felt suicidal since Christmas break, despite a lot of bad things happening. It's pretty encouraging and makes me feel slightly hopeful. I think that this new medication is really helpful.
The not so good news is that I've still been pretty depressed. I was really depressed at the start of school, but I had finally gotten back into the swing of school, and had a pretty decent week or so, then found out last Monday that my dog died. He was 11 years old and my best friend. He was my only friend throughout much of high school, when I was dealing with depression and panic attacks he was always snuggled next to me in bed. I cried all last week. I've still been sad this week, but feeling less sad about that particular situation, and more just generally depressed. I had a conversation today with one of my best friends about ending our friendship, for reasons I won't detail here. My friend convinced me out of doing this for the moment, but is going to leave me alone for a while. While I think that this is for the best, it still leaves me rather sad on top of the general dreariness I've been feeling the past two weeks. I have massive amounts of homework to do tomorrow that I don't want to do. Actually I really want to get it done, but I'm so depressed that I can barely type these sentences and just stared at the work I had to do tonight. Tonight I was even too depressed to enjoy reading Harry Potter, which if you know me at all, know that that is a big deal. I've barely been able to pull myself out of bed for classes the past two weeks. I need a reason to get up tomorrow. If anyone feels like giving me a reason, that would be cool. Any words of encouragement would be nice. Or pictures/videos of funny things. If you get a chance, shoot something my way and I'd appreciate it.
These past two weeks have been pretty bad, but at least I'm not completely losing my rationality to suicidal thoughts. That's a nice change, though things are still pretty difficult, I'm still taking life one step at a time.
The not so good news is that I've still been pretty depressed. I was really depressed at the start of school, but I had finally gotten back into the swing of school, and had a pretty decent week or so, then found out last Monday that my dog died. He was 11 years old and my best friend. He was my only friend throughout much of high school, when I was dealing with depression and panic attacks he was always snuggled next to me in bed. I cried all last week. I've still been sad this week, but feeling less sad about that particular situation, and more just generally depressed. I had a conversation today with one of my best friends about ending our friendship, for reasons I won't detail here. My friend convinced me out of doing this for the moment, but is going to leave me alone for a while. While I think that this is for the best, it still leaves me rather sad on top of the general dreariness I've been feeling the past two weeks. I have massive amounts of homework to do tomorrow that I don't want to do. Actually I really want to get it done, but I'm so depressed that I can barely type these sentences and just stared at the work I had to do tonight. Tonight I was even too depressed to enjoy reading Harry Potter, which if you know me at all, know that that is a big deal. I've barely been able to pull myself out of bed for classes the past two weeks. I need a reason to get up tomorrow. If anyone feels like giving me a reason, that would be cool. Any words of encouragement would be nice. Or pictures/videos of funny things. If you get a chance, shoot something my way and I'd appreciate it.
These past two weeks have been pretty bad, but at least I'm not completely losing my rationality to suicidal thoughts. That's a nice change, though things are still pretty difficult, I'm still taking life one step at a time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)