Something not depressing

I'm not sure I've written about anything other than things relating to depression in this blog. Depression is a big part of my life and I have a lot to say about it, but I just wanted to write a short post about other things on my week off of work.

I heard Dr. Hauerwas speak a few weeks ago, and hearing from the countries' best theologian was one of the many awesome things I did that weekend. He read some from his autobiography Hannah's Child, which I have just ordered on amazon and can't wait to get. I also was just reading things about him online and came across this article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stanley-hauerwas/people-are-surprised-that_b_599230.html entitled The Surprise of Being a Christian. The following is a quote from that article.

"I still find it surprising that I am a Christian. God is just not there for me the way God is there for some people. I am not complaining. I assume that that is the way God works to make some of us have to think hard about what it means to worship God. I use the language of worship rather than belief because I am never sure if I believe in God. I do not trust myself enough to take what I believe seriously. But I do worship God, and I do so with joy."

I don't know what he means about God not being there for him the way he is for some people, but I'm really interested to find out when I read his book. But I empathize with that feeling. I've also read about how Mother Theresa went most of her life without feeling like God was there. I certainly go long periods of time without feeling God at all. I also think hard about what it means to believe in God. And lately I've been unsure that I believe in God. But I do also worship God, and do it with joy and love. I think I might want to go to divinity school. But not to be a pastor. I think I might want to be a theologian like Hauerwas. Or a college professor for either Psychology or Biology. Or possibly a genetic counselor. Or a stay at home mom. Or something else. But I enjoyed hearing from Hauerwas because I feel like he's really honest, because he swears when he's talking about theology and laughs at religious people. Not in a mean way, just in a not letting anyone take themselves too seriously sort of way. I liked that he said that it was great to be interested in theology but not want to be a pastor. He also said theology was just working with words and lots of reading. I love reading. and writing. and words.

So yea, that's about all I had to say about that. Just thought I'd share what was on my mind.