http://www.soulforce.org/article/453
http://www.mlp.org/fmd/files/DesmondTutuLetter.pdf
The most common argument I hear against homosexuality is that the Bible forbids it. It is true that there are Bible verses forbidding homosexual acts. However, having read almost the entire Bible, I still don't feel like homosexuality is wrong. I believe that the Bible is the word of God, and I try to live my life by the principles I find in it, the most important one being to love God and other people. The old testament forbids many things that Christians today do not follow, so the old law most Christians don't enforce anyway. There is a new testament verse or two condemning homosexual acts, but the new testament also says women should say silent in church; however, I know most Christians also support women pastors, although there is still debate going on about that. The new and old testament were also used to support slavery, which was clearly wrong, and no one would say that slavery is a good thing today. I don't think the Bible was written so we could use it to condemn groups of people. I feel that the issue with homosexuality is very similar to these issues. It doesn't mean we should ignore the Bible or that what it says doesn't matter, I just think it's important to read it with love and justice in mind.
The Bible was also and still is used to condemn scientific principles that are discovered about our world and universe that we live in. As someone who loves both theology and science, I don't think that has to be the case at all. The Bible is not a science textbook. People used to think it was heresy to say the earth revolved around the sun, because there are Bible verses saying the earth doesn't move. However, I think most people now accept that the earth moves around the sun and believe in God without experiencing conflicting feelings.
I do know many Christians who say they love homosexual people they just disagree with the choices they're making. I also hear people say homosexuality isn't natural. There are increasing amounts of scientific evidence that being homosexual or bisexual isn't a choice. That makes sense to me, because I don't recall ever making a choice to be attracted to men. I just am naturally attracted to them. I have talked to homosexual Christians who have struggled so much with trying to not be attracted to the "wrong" sex, but they eventually come to the realization that the gender they are attracted to isn't a choice. So I have a hard time believing that something that isn't a choice would be a sin.
This leads me into just a short tie in with depression. I feel empathy for homosexual Christians, because I feel like as a Christian with a mental illness I have been wrongfully condemned for my "sin" and bad choices I make to be depressed or anxious. There are also Bible verses used against my illness where people say the Bible says to not be depressed or anxious, and tell me my feelings are sinful and my fault. I grew up thinking that, and it's been very difficult for me to pull away from that belief, as people still tell me things like this frequently. After having depression and anxiety for 7 years though, meeting many other people with depression, and seeing scientific research that has been done, I've concluded that me and many others have a disease which was not our fault or choice and therefore isn't a sin. I'm not at all trying to say homosexuality is like an illness, just that I feel sad for those who are told being homosexual, or having depression is sinful, because I feel like the Bible and Christianity are being used to hurt rather than help people.
One last thing I was going to say was just to request that if you disagree with anything I've said, that you would discuss it in a calm manner.
Peace.
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI would just like to tell you my opinion from personal experience. A couple years ago I realized that I was attracted to my best friend. It didn't just come from nowhere; I was lonely, and this woman offered me everything and more that a boyfriend would have -- physical affection, someone to talk to and share dreams with, and a comforting presence that was always there, protecting me. When I realized that I had sexual feelings for her, I became extremely frustrated and sad because I knew that our relationship had moved far from being a healthy friendship to something that I did not feel comfortable continuing.
Maybe from what I said above you'd think that our relationship was great; that we were meant for each other and that I should have had no guilt. But the truth is, our relationship was terribly unhealthy. We lived only for each other, no not even that, we lived for our selfish need of one another. We were demanding of each other, we fought all the time, we were dramatic and needy and annoying to our other friends. My conviction that something needed to change led our friendship down a path of destruction. It wasn't pretty. It hurt a lot, but I think in the end I am healthier for it. I hope she is, too.
I'm using this story to illustrate what I believe. I believe that many factors contribute to a person "choosing" to be homosexual. Loneliness and rejection by members of the opposite sex can push people toward the homosexual community, where they are accepted. They may have been raised by parents who encouraged sexual experimentation, and therefore do not see anything wrong with it. There may be a genetic factor, but I have never read any scientific papers that confirm this. Do you know of any? Could you send me a link of them if you do?
I also must say that even if there was a genetic component, I still would be cautious about considering homosexuality to be a normal human variant. Humans can have many unhealthy desires (which I guess you could call temptations). If I experienced sexual feelings for a married man I would not be doing something wrong -- but if I decided to obsess over it and fantasize about it and act on it, I'm pretty sure most people would agree that would be wrong and unhealthy. I think Satan has figured out people pretty well. He'll take our weaknesses or natural inclinations and use them the tempt us as individuals in the spot he knows it will be hardest to resist.
Having said all that, I feel deep empathy for homosexuals even though I believe they have made a wrong choice. I know how good it feels to belong somewhere, to feel loved and accepted and justified in feeling a certain way. But I believe that the one true love is not your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your community but God. When people try to get other people to fulfill that role, disappointment and bitterness is often the result. Man and woman were meant to work together as a team, because they have different strengths and weaknesses, but they weren't meant to complete each other.
I would love to hear your response about my thoughts. I hope I do not come off as confrontational; I just felt the need to share my perspective of the world. I wish you the best with your struggle with depression and your spiritual journey. :)
Actually, from what you said, I would not think your relationship with that woman was great. Not because she was a woman, but just because the nature of your relationship wasn't love. I've had relationships with people who were just friends, but we were both relating out of selfish need for the other person, and I've had to end those friendships. I believe that real love isn't selfish.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think there is a difference from a guy or girl exclusively being attracted to the same sex since puberty, and someone who just decides maybe they'd like to try a relationship with someone who was the same sex. I'm not entirely convinced either one is wrong, but I was mainly arguing that people who have always been attracted to people of the same sex don't seem to have really chosen that. I can't definitively state that it isn't a choice to be homosexual, since I'm not homosexual, but I don't really feel like I made a choice to be heterosexual, and I've talked to friends who feel the same way about being homosexual. I'm not at all trying to brush aside your story. I think it's important and I'm glad you shared it.
Also, I feel like being homosexual is probably a normal human variant, since it's a normal animal variant. And you said you might be attracted to a married man, but to fantasize about it would be wrong, and I agree, but I don't equate a devoted homosexual relationship with adultery.
http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/271/1554/2217.short
this is just a link of an abstract of a scientific paper, but we talked in one of my classes about how later born children are more likely to be homosexual.
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1994-44971-001
this article talks about identifying genetic factors, but it not being purely based on biological factors. however, the same can be said about depression, but even though depression isn't 100% based on biological factors, it doesn't really change the fact that it isn't my choice that I have depression. also, genetics is still a relatively new study, and not many specific genes that directly do things have been found.
these were just two things I found when I googled genetics and homosexuality. you could probably find more info if you were interested in just doing a slight amount of research. I couldn't find definitive articles, but I know we've talked about being gay having a genetic basis, even though I can't reference a specific article.
And you didn't come across as confrontational at all. I appreciate your response. I wish you the best with your life as well. :)